As a parent of a toddler, you probably remember those blissful days when your baby started sleeping through the night uninterrupted. You could finally get some much-needed rest yourself. But then, your sweet bundle of joy turned into a bounding toddler who thinks the middle of the night is playtime!
When your toddler starts climbing out of bed countless times after you tuck them in, it can be frustrating and exhausting for everyone involved. I’ve been there myself – just as I finally drift off, I hear those pitter-pattering feet running into my room. My daughter’s frequency of night wakings got so bad that I felt like a zombie during the day. I worried about the effects of inconsistent sleep on her development too.
If you want to regain peace and quiet at night and help your toddler sleep soundly, read on. In this post, I’ll share seven soothing secrets that have worked wonders to get my daughter sleeping through the night again. With a consistent bedtime routine and positive reinforcement, you can conquer those post-tuck-in journeys out of bed. Bid farewell to bleary-eyed mornings and cranky toddlers!
How Much Sleep Does Your Toddler Need?
To know if your toddler is getting adequate sack time, it helps to be aware of general sleep recommendations for little ones ages 1-3 years old:
- 12-15 hours – Toddlers ages 1-2 need 12-15 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, including naps.
- 11-14 hours – Toddlers ages 3-5 need 11-14 hours.
Without enough sleep, toddlers suffer similar effects as sleep-deprived adults. In short, a tired toddler is more prone to tantrums, moodiness, and behavior issues. Long-term sleep deprivation impairs cognitive development, focus, memory, and overall health.
Now that you know how much rest your toddler needs, let’s look at the reasons why they pop out of bed after lights out. Understanding the root causes will help you find the right solutions.
| Age | Night Sleep | Daytime Sleep | Total Sleep |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 year | 11-12 hours | 3-4 hours (2 naps) | 14-16 hours |
| 2 years | 11-12 hours | 1-3 hours (1-2 naps) | 12-15 hours |
| 3 years | 10-11 hours | 0-2 hours (0-1 nap) | 11-14 hours |
Toddler Sleep Regression Phases
As toddlers grow, it’s common to hit periods of sleep regression. Major developmental milestones and changes can disrupt their sleep patterns. Being aware of common regression phases will help you understand the temporary sleep setbacks.
Around 18 months, separation anxiety emerges. Your independent explorer still needs you at night when fears set in. Sleep needs also decrease slightly to 11-12 hours per day from 14 hours for a younger infant. These changes result in night wakings.
At 2 years old, sleep regressions happen as toddlers transition from two naps down to one. The adjusted nap schedule disrupts their circadian rhythm. Potty training is also occurring, resulting in more nighttime bathroom visits.
3-year-olds experience imaginative minds and nightmares. An active brain keeps them stirred up with fears of monsters under the bed or dark shadows. Verbal skills allow calling out for your reassuring presence.
While sleep regressions can be frustrating, they are just temporary phases, not permanent sleep problems. Consistency with sleep training techniques helps toddlers overcome these periods and learn to self-soothe. Understanding the developmental stages causing regression allows an empathetic response.
Common Reasons Toddlers Get Out of Bed
Your precious angel isn’t trying to deliberately defy you and deprive you of sleep. There are valid reasons why your toddler turns into a little jack-in-the-box at night time:
Physical needs – Bathroom breaks, thirst, hunger pangs, growing pains, illness, or nightmares can all compel your toddler to seek you out.
Fears – Toddlers have active imaginations and can get unnerved by shadows, noises, monsters under the bed, etc. They find comfort and security in your presence.
Separation anxiety – Between ages 2-3 especially, separation anxiety peaks. Your toddler relies on you as their safe base and has a strong emotional need to be near you.
Stalling tactics – Clever toddlers learn tactics like asking for one more kiss, a drink of water or a trip to the potty to delay bedtime and stay up longer.
Change in routine – Toddlers thrive on consistency. Changes to their schedule, environment or sleep associations disrupt their sense of normalcy.
Need to exert independence – Testing limits by getting out of bed is one-way toddlers assert their autonomy.
Boredom – Once alone in bed with imagination in overdrive, they seek entertainment and interaction.
Now that you know why your toddler is bounding out of bed, let’s cover some soothing, proven secrets to encourage them to stay tucked in.
Setting Up a Soothing Bedtime Routine
A consistent, relaxing pre-bed routine signals to your toddler that it’s time to unwind and get sleep-ready. Aim for the same sequence of activities nightly about 30 minutes before bedtime.
Some elements to include in your bedtime routine:
- Calming activities like reading bedtime stories or taking a warm bath.
- Brushing teeth and washing up.
- Getting into pajamas. I let my daughter pick her favorite jammies each night which she loves.
- One last trip to the potty to minimize middle-of-the-night bathroom runs.
- A cup of water by the bedside in case of thirst.
- Tucking in with favorite stuffed animals and blankets.
- A goodnight kiss and hug. Maybe a bedtime back rub or lullaby too.
At first, your toddler may resist or attempt to stall with “one more book please!” By sticking to the routine consistently, it becomes familiar. The activities signal to your toddler’s body that sleep is coming soon.
Next step: Start establishing a calming bedtime routine 20-30 minutes before your toddler’s current bedtime. Aim to follow the same sequence nightly.
Examples of Positive Bedtime Stories
Reading a calming story signals winding down before bed. Choose stories with:
- Soothing repetitive language
- Limited excitable activity
- Positive themes about sleep
Great bedtime story examples include:
The Very Hungry Caterpillar – follows the caterpillar’s daily routine through repetitive days of the week
Goodnight Moon – says goodnight to various objects in a bedroom scene
Guess How Much I Love You – characters try to outdo each others’ expressions of love
The Going to Bed Book – humorous story of delaying going to bed
Time for Bed – animal characters get tucked in bed one by one
Keep a rotation of 3-4 favorites on the bookshelf. Familiar stories provide comfort. Brief 5-10 minute readings prevent over-stimulation. Sweet dreams!
Making the Bedroom Toddler-Friendly
Create a sleep-inducing environment your toddler looks forward to retreating to at night. Make the room fun yet conducive to a long night’s snooze.
- Use cute bedding with their favorite cartoon characters. Let them pick it out.
- Add glow-in-the-dark star stickers or those projects that shine constellations on the ceiling.
- A white noise machine or lullaby music muffles outside noises.
- Let them pick a few stuffed animals and blankets to cuddle up with. Limit to 2-3 to avoid overcrowding.
- A nightlight eases fears of the dark unfamiliar shadows at night.
- Set the thermostat appropriately – not too hot or cold.
- Child-proof and remove stimulating toys. Too much visual stimulation inhibits quality sleep.
My daughter loves her starry sky night light projector. The spinning stars soothe her to sleep without leaving the room pitch dark. Start making your child’s room an oasis of comfort!
Next step: Make one small change tonight like adding a nightlight or playing soft music to create a more sleep-ready environment.
Toddler Bed Transition Tips
Moving from a crib to toddler bed is an adjustment. Try these tips for a smooth transition:
- Let them pick fun new bedding to get excited
- Practice napping/reading in the bed during the day
- Place the mattress on the floor at first to discourage climbing out
- Use bed rails so they feel more secure
- Remove toys that could prove too tempting for playtime after bed
Gradually acclimate your toddler to the new sleep space. Provide praise and reassurance to reduce anxiety. Celebrate successes staying in the “big kid bed”!
Encouraging Staying in Bed with Positive Reinforcement
Toddlers crave attention and respond well to positive reinforcement. When your toddler stays tucked in bed rather than wandering out after bedtime, applaud their behavior.
Some positive reinforcement techniques:
- Offer verbal praise like “Great job staying in your bed tonight!” each morning.
- Use a sticker chart to let them earn stickers for nights they don’t leave their room. Accumulate 10 stickers for a bigger reward.
- Display a calendar and let them proudly mark “Stayed in bed!” sticker on successful nights.
- After one week of consistent sleep, have an ice cream or movie night to celebrate.
The reward of your praise and a sense of accomplishment motivates repeating the desired behavior. Stay consistent in reinforcing it.
My daughter loved earning stickers on her princess sticker chart. It gave her a sense of achievement when she saw the stickers piling up!
Next step: Make or purchase a sticker chart tonight. Explain that your child can earn a sticker each morning they stay tucked in bed. Start praising successful nights!
Creative Toddler Reward Ideas
Beyond stickers or treats, consider creative rewards for consistency in staying in bed:
- Extra snuggle time in the morning
- Choosing a family movie night/weekend activity
- Special one-on-one parent outings like getting ice cream
- A new book or small toy
- Fun hair coloring spray or face paint
Link rewards to achieving a certain number of successful nights in their own bed. Children crave attention and experiences. Vary rewards frequently to sustain motivation.
| Consistent Nights Slept in Own Bed | Reward Ideas |
|---|---|
| 5 nights | Pick family movie night |
| 7 nights | Ice cream outing with parent |
| 10 nights | New book |
| 14 nights | Temporary hair coloring spray |
| 21 nights | Trip to toy store to pick out new toy |
Dealing with Night Wakings Patiently
An occasional nighttime wandering into your room is inevitable. When it occurs, calmly walk your toddler back to bed without overstimulating them. Avoid eye contact, turning on bright lights, or lengthy conversations.
If they request it, provide a hug, quick back rub or drink of water. Briefly reassure them there’s nothing to fear. Then tuck them back in bed and remind them to stay put until morning time. Limit interaction to 5 minutes max – you don’t want to reinforce the behavior and have them wanting nightly wakes for your attention.
With a toddler prone to frequent wakings, consider a baby monitor. Having the monitor eliminates their need to exit their room for minor needs. Instead of traipsing all the way to your room for a quick check-in, they can call out and hear your voice reassuring them through the monitor. It prevents stimulating light exposure and disruption to your rest too.
Stay patient on those middle-of-the-night journeys to steer your toddler back to bed. Consistency and brevity are key.
Next step: If a night waking occurs, remember to keep any interaction brief and low-stimulation. Use a gentle but firm reminder about the importance of staying in bed overnight.
When to Call The Pediatrician
While the occasional night wandering is normal, take note if your toddler’s nighttime activity seems excessive. Consult your pediatrician if your toddler:
- Wakes frequently (more than 2 times a night) at least 5 nights a week.
- Rarely sleeps through the night for long stretches.
- Is awake for long periods overnight (longer than 20-30 minutes).
- Displays signs of sleep anxiety like bedtime tantrums, refusal to sleep alone, etc.
- Snores very loudly, gasps for air or stops breathing during sleep.
Your doctor can evaluate for underlying conditions like sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome, night terrors or sleep anxiety. Medical issues can then be properly treated.
Don’t hesitate to raise concerns to your pediatrician if your gut says your child’s sleeplessness seems abnormal. The key is determining whether it’s within the range of normal toddler sleep regressions or linked to other health issues needing intervention. Your doctor can guide you on the next steps.
Next step: If excessive night wakings persist beyond 2 weeks, consult your pediatrician to discuss whether any medical evaluation is recommended.
Toddler Sleep Training Mistakes to Avoid
Steer clear of these common mistakes parents make:
Inconsistency – Not sticking to routines, rewards, consequences
Caving – Letting them stay awake too long if crying
Impatience – Overstimulating them during night wakings
Bedsharing – Allowing toddler in parent’s room too frequently
Overtiring – Not enforcing proper daytime nap routine
Lack of emotional regulation and consistency sabotage sleep training. Stay mindful, patient and consistent for sleep success!
Conclusion
A restful, uninterrupted night’s sleep for both toddlers and parents is an attainable dream with consistency and patience! By understanding the reasons behind night wakings, setting up a soothing bedtime routine and environment, positively reinforcing staying in bed, and seeking medical guidance when appropriate, you can conquer those post-bedtime wanderings.
Remember, even the best sleep-trained toddlers will still have occasional nights where they need extra comfort or check-ins. Meet these with empathy and stick to briefly walking them back to bed without too much fanfare. Consistency is critical.
The key is recognizing typical toddler behavior versus a deeper issue needing evaluation. Arm yourself with an arsenal of soothing techniques like nightlights, white noise machines, bedtime routines, cozy bedrooms and positive reinforcement. With time and consistency, your strategies will ensure your toddler – and you – are greeting each morning bright-eyed and well-rested!
FAQ – How to Keep Toddler in Bed
What’s the best way to transition my toddler from a crib to a bed?
Make the toddler bed transition gradual. Start by placing the new bed in the same room as the crib so it becomes familiar. Let your toddler pick out fun new sheets or a stuffed animal for the bed to get them excited about it. Have them take naps or read books in bed during daytime hours first. You can place guard rails on the bed and also put it on the floor to discourage climbing out initially.
Praise your toddler when you observe them lying calmly in bed. Over a 2 week period, transition first nighttime reading, then one middle-of-the-night waking for calming, and finally the initial stages of sleep in the new bed while still keeping the crib available. Going slow with preparation, repetition and positivity eases anxiety about leaving the familiarity of a crib.
My toddler keeps calling for me and getting out of bed at night. What should I do?
Toddlers often connect their sense of security to having a parent nearby. When left alone in bed, fears and separation anxiety kick in. Respond with empathy but also consistency. The first few nights, sit by your toddler’s bedside as they fall asleep to offer reassurance, then incrementally move further away. Use a transitional lovey or blanket with your scent on it. A night light and white noise machine promote calming.
If your toddler gets up, avoid engaging too much. Walk them gently back to bed right away with minimal interaction. You might allow one brief snuggle then say “It’s time for sleeping in your bed now.” Be matter-of-fact yet kind. With consistency, your toddler will learn to self-soothe and see their bed as a safe, comforting space.
How do I handle early morning wake ups with my toddler?
Early risers or waking before the ideal time is common with toddlers. Use blackout curtains or shades to block sunrise, signaling to their body it’s still sleep time. A white noise machine can help drown out any household morning noises. Set clear expectations about acceptable wake up times, like after 6am. Use an “Okay to Wake” toddler clock that glows green at the approved wake time.
Explain your toddler has to stay in bed until the light turns green. Start pushing bedtime earlier by 15 minute increments to ensure adequate total overnight sleep. Remove stimulating toys, TV and tablets from the bedroom. As a last resort, set a temporary rule that your toddler must stay quiet in bed if up early, with a reward chart for compliance – this prevents wandering into your room too early. Consistency with these techniques helps toddlers learn to reset their circadian rhythm and sleep until the designated wake time
My toddler seems to be afraid of the dark, what can I do?
It’s natural for toddlers to develop a fear of the dark as their imagination grows. Here are some ways to help them overcome nighttime fears: Use a nightlight or sleep-friendly light projector to cast stars/moons on the ceiling. Leave the bedroom door cracked open and hall light on if needed. Read storybooks about children overcoming bedtime fears. Have them pick out flashlights or glowing-in-the-dark stuffed animals. Play soft music.
Use a white noise machine to mask startling outside noises. Use window shades to prevent scary shadows. Tell them you’ll keep them safe and are nearby while reassuring this is their special sleeping time. Doing an occasional early bedtime safety check sitting in their room helps too. Combatting an overactive mind with familiar soothing sights and sounds reduces dark time anxiety.
How do I get my toddler to stop coming into my bed in the middle of the night?
As consistent as possible, walk your toddler back to their room right away when they show up in your bed. Resist engaging too much or having them sleep with you the rest of the night. Place them back in their bed each time to set that precedent. Implement a reward system for nights they stay in their bed the whole night, like a sticker chart leading to a prize. Use transitional objects like special blankets or stuffed animals to ease separation anxiety.
A white noise machine or nightlight promotes self-soothing in their room. Ensure the bedroom environment makes them feel cozy and unafraid. Childproof to remove stimulating play opportunities if needed. Stay patient and consistent, not becoming frustrated – this will reinforce that your bed is ultimately not an option overnight. While co-sleeping occasionally for comfort after a bad dream is normal, avoiding long-term bed-sharing habits is key for independent sleep.
