The arrival of a newborn baby is one of life’s most joyful and celebrated moments. As friends and family, it’s only natural to want to rush in and meet the precious little one! However, there are some important guidelines to follow, specifically these 10 Crucial Rules for Visiting a Newborn, when visiting a newborn so that you don’t end up ruining the special moment or causing undue disruption or stress.
As a mom of three beautiful babies myself, I’ve made just about every newborn visiting mistake over the years. Take it from me – you’ll want to carefully abide by these 10 crucial visiting rules, both to respect the new mom etiquette during this delicate time and also to give your new little buddy the gentlest start to life outside the womb!
| Task | Details | Completed |
|---|---|---|
| Review invitation date/time | Use soap and water scrubbing for 20 seconds, especially after contact with public spaces to protect delicate newborn. | [ ] |
| Take immunity precautions | Get flu shot and any other vaccines at least 2 weeks in advance. Delay if actively sick with cold/flu symptoms until recovered. | [ ] |
| Wash hands & arms thoroughly | Always ask before picking up or handling the baby. Follow parents guidance exactly. | [ ] |
| Keep visit brief | For first visits especially, keep to under 15-30 minutes max to not overwhelm parents and baby. | [ ] |
| Use calm quiet voices | No yelling/shouting which could startle. Model soft gentle tones parents use with baby. | [ ] |
| Request permission before touching | Applaud them on their incredible efforts in taking home and caring for baby! Affirm how beautifully they’re adjusting to their new roles! | [ ] |
| Congratulate parents | Applaud them on their incredible efforts in taking home and caring for the baby! Affirm how beautifully they’re adjusting to their new roles! | [ ] |
Rule #1: Wait for an Invitation Before Dropping In
I know the excitement makes you want to rush right over and squeeze those cute little cheeks. But hold your horses! After going through the monumental challenge of labor and delivery, both mom and baby need plenty of privacy, skin-to-skin bonding time, and chances to recuperate.
As a rule of thumb, wait until the parents explicitly invite you over to visit before showing up unannounced. This gives them time to settle in, establish breastfeeding, get some naps under their belt, and start feeling up to hosting guests.
Remember – it’s not about you or your excitement. Visits should happen on the new family’s timetable. If they want visitors right away, they’ll let you know! Respect their space if they’d prefer to lie low for a couple of weeks before allowing visitors.
| Delay Reason | How You Can Help |
|---|---|
| Mother recovering from difficult delivery | Drop off meals that are easy to reheat or gift certificates for delivery services. Send a note saying you’re available to help when they feel ready for visitors. |
| Establishing breastfeeding | Avoid suggesting formula supplementation that could interfere with supply. Offer encouragement on their nourishing efforts. |
| Concerns about infection risk | Share your vaccination status if asked. Be transparent about any illnesses and willing to delay visits until completely better. Reinforce good hand hygiene. |
| Baby arrived early/NICU stay | Understand restricted NICU policies. Offer to help siblings at home. Check if any other errands could assist the family. |
| Postpartum depression concerns | Don’t take delays personally. Send a warm note of support. Check if they need someone to talk to without judgment about what they’re going through. |
Rule #2: Keep That First Visit Short!
Once invited over those first couple weeks, I cannot emphasize this enough – keep the length of your very first newborn visit to less than 10 or 15 minutes! I know you want to snuggle that little bundle for hours but resist the urge.
In those early days, the mom is utterly exhausted, still healing from delivery, and trying to learn the ropes of breastfeeding, soothing the baby, and catching a wink when she can. Don’t get offended if she wants you to stick to a short timeframe. It’s not personal – she simply needs to focus all her energy on recovery and caring for a helpless newborn 24/7. Show you empathize with the monumental journey she just went through.
Promise her now that you’ll come visit again soon. Then keep your visit super short and sweet before heading out to let her rest.
Rule #3: Hold Off on Visiting If You’re Sick!
This one is non-negotiable. If you’ve got so much as the sniffles, do NOT go anywhere near a vulnerable newborn baby or exposed postpartum woman! As tempted as you might be to power through and visit anyway, I cannot stress enough that this is hazardous.
A minor cold that’s no big deal for you can quickly turn life-threatening if passed to a tiny newborn with zero immunity built up yet. You also don’t want to get the new mom sick if she needs her strength to nurture 10 Crucial Rules for Visiting a Newborn and breastfeed that baby full time!
If you have any contagious symptoms at all – cold, flu, fever, etc, – or recently got a live vaccine, postpone your visit plans. Wait until all contagious symptoms clear plus an extra few days to allow residual germs to pass. This goes for siblings too – leave older germ-spreading kids at home until the baby is bigger and less fragile!
As hard as it is waiting when you’re so eager, visitation patience is crucial here! Promise the new mom you’ll plan a visit once the illness risk has safely passed.
Rule #4: Come Bearing Gifts for BOTH Mom and Baby
It feels instinctual to want to spoil and shower gifts onto the new little prince or princess. Yet we often forget an even more deserving new parent – the brave mama warrior who just grew and birthed that beautiful child!
By all means, bring a special baby outfit, toy, or keepsake if you like. But I also recommend having gifts on hand specifically for nourishing and pampering that postpartum mama. After all, she’s been through, she deserves some spoiling and comfort too!
Ideas for useful new mom gifts: snacks or frozen meals she can easily heat up one-handed, gift certificates for food delivery when she’s too exhausted to cook, comfy robes and slippers to relax in postpartum, luxurious skin creams to pamper her recovering body, audiobooks or magazines for when baby is cluster feeding, etc. Essentially, give her gifts enabling self-care!
Rule #5: Avoid Too Much Commotion and Stimulation
It’s only natural to want to fuss and “ooh” and “ahh” excitedly over a newborn. But whether you visit the hospital or their home, remember one of the worst things you can do is overstimulate a baby’s delicate sensory system!
Those early weeks are all about helping infants ease into the bright noisy outside world after 9 months cocooned in a dark, warm, muffled womb. Avoid loud voices, big gestures, exposing babies to television, and phone screens, or celebrating siblings. All this can stress babies out when they crave dim, calm environments with familiar sounds like parents’ voices and heartbeats.
Enjoy your special moment with the newborn, but softly and gently. Swaddle them snugly, speak in hushed gentle tones, maybe sing a sweet lullaby. This sensory care early on provides lifelong brain and nervous system benefits helping them better adjust to the world.
And pro tip – if the baby is napping during your scheduled visit, either tiptoe out and come back later or relax quietly with mom until they wake!
Rule #6: Keep Germ Exposure Low Through Hand Hygiene
Yes, we covered delaying visits if actively sick. But anytime you visit a newborn, also beware of asymptomatic germ spread! Our hands pick up germs everywhere we go.
Before touching or holding the baby, rigorously wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 full seconds. Rub vigorously including the backs of hands, between fingers, and under nails where germs lurk. Hand sanitizer alone doesn’t kill certain stubborn germs.
If the baby recently had their circumcision or umbilical cord stump handled, wash hands again before touching them. Try also removing shoes upon entering and consider wearing a mask near the baby those first couple months.
Every germ exposure risk mitigation helps their developing immunity. This strict hand hygiene guidance applies to siblings and any visitors. We adults sometimes forget kids’ hygiene – so monitor their hand cleaning too!
Rule #7: Follow Parents’ Cradling Guidance
Despite that insatiable new baby cuddle urge, recognize not all new parents feel comfortable letting others hold their fragile infant right away. Always ask the parents first before reaching out to pick up the baby. Do not just grab assuming it’s okay!
If welcome to hold the swaddled bundle, follow any instructions carefully about supporting the neck, avoiding certain touches that may make the baby fussy, and bringing the baby back to the mom immediately at any signs of discomfort. They know the baby’s unique needs best!
If bottle feeding baby, ask if they’d prefer only parents provide bottles until breastfeeding is well established – which can easily be disrupted if others sneak in bottle feeds. Respect overprotective policies that make sense for that child!
And if older kids visit, ensure gentle and safe interactions with the newborn only under the parent’s supervision every second. Some parents understandably don’t feel safe with kids holding newborns unassisted.
Rule #8: Help Out New Moms in Appropriate Ways
Visiting a struggling new mom unable to even shower makes our helper instinct kick into high gear! But beware of overstepping bounds with unsolicited advice or help. Every parent has their own approach.
Don’t assume your preferred way of sleep training, feeding schedules, etc is right for them. Listen more than speak and follow parents’ lead on what helps most right now.
If tension is sensed, offer help once then back graciously away if declined. Suggest things like, “Can I fold some laundry while you nurse?” or “What takeout sounds good tonight my treat?”
Little lifeline help without judgment is usually welcomed if they feel in control. But amidst the new parenting flurry, they may not know what helps, so patient open-ended offers give them room to accept support on their own time.
Rule #9: Don’t Post Photos Without Permission
We instantly want to capture and share cute newborn images online! But for some parents, safety concerns around their baby’s photographed face circulate before they even first share images themselves.
Others worry about scammers or marketers capitalizing on a baby’s cute likeness. Every parent has different comfort levels here regarding newborn privacy.
Unless parents explicitly okay it, do not take or share images with the newborn’s face – not even quick shots texted just to family. Baby images spread fast on social media, easily getting into the wrong hands.
Seek the family’s consent preferences upfront before photographing their child. Let them reveal sweet baby pictures if and when they are ready!
Rule #10: Check Back In After Things Settle!
If that very first frazzled newborn visit required brevity to not overwhelm the tired new parents, don’t disappear!
Once settled into a rhythm around 6-8 weeks, checking in again lets you provide the concrete support they desperately need then. After initial visits and meals taper off, isolation and exhaustion often peak.
Reach back out around the 2-month mark and offer your support. See if they need help around the house now that relatives left, a homecooked meal, or just a smiling friend to visit her and the baby again post-chaos.
Having your ongoing assistance through the enduringly tough postpartum period will mean the world, forging lifelong bonds between you, the new parents, and the baby.
Baby Visits While Sick – Virtual Alternatives
What about highly contagious illnesses barring in-person newborn visits? In today’s tech era virtual contact is possible without spreading germs to vulnerable babies! Scheduled video calls allow friends/relatives self-isolating with symptoms like flu, COVID, or RSV to safely “visit” seeing babies on screen.
Upload sweet audio congratulations messages crooning warm welcomes new parents can replay as lullabies. Record funny video pep talks for exhausted parents to encourage them along the challenging yet wondrous path. Order gift baskets delivered or drop contactless hearty meals on doorsteps keeping a 6 ft distance sustaining new parents unable to stock up on essentials.
Get creative envisioning novel ways to bond with quarantined bundles of joy! Virtual baby showers, best wishes video montages, and even reading nightly stories via video build relationship foundations until in-person reunions are safe again. Stay meaningfully present in their lives despite physical separation through this interim stretch.
Helping New Parents From Afar
Even after heading home post newborn visit, find small yet meaningful ways to support new parents once initial flurries of visits/gifts taper off. Check-in periodically via brief caring texts, not demanding responses while the baby occupies all free time, simply conveying you hold this family close at heart.
Offer specific help gestures like personalized coupon books with “Redeem for a meal drop off” services, local restaurant/grocery gift cards, running errands to stock nursery essential “care packages” or simply taking older kids on playground outings. Find their current unmet needs. Ask directly what would bless them most right now then selflessly meet tangible needs in their world turned upside down.
Beyond physical help, emotional encouragement uplifts new parent morale amidst sleep-deprived survival functioning. Share applause notes championing them through the foggy-brained phase. Remind them to drink water, and soak up baby snuggles. Check on their self-care while pouring fully into an infant. Your small acts of showing up anchor them until the waves of early parenting chaos ebb slowly into steadier rhythms.
Soothing Baby When Plans Get Disrupted
Few scenarios stress new parents more than an upset infant. When visiting babies, be an ally, not an antagonist if your actions unintentionally unleash tears like missing nap times or overstimulation from loud environments.
First apologize empathetically, getting out of the way and offering space for parents to work their magic. Observe calming techniques respectfully taking mental notes for your own future parenting journeys: bouncing, shushing, pacifiers, baby wearing, stroller rides all time tested. Resist the urge to intervene with amateurish suggestions mid-frazzled crisis! Just lend your hopeful confidence in their parental capabilities to master this too.
Once peaceful calm is restored, sensitively explore as friends how to prevent disruptions by adjusting your surroundings and timing henceforth. Let temporary setbacks draw you closer together not push apart. After all calm seas never made skillful sailors! Each wave together only deepens bonds between little families and loved ones navigating newborn ebb and flows by their sides.
In Conclusion
Welcoming a newborn is profound yet delicate for families. While eager to meet the baby ourselves, following these 10 newborn visit rules helps ensure your visit leaves new parents feeling supported, cared for and empowered early on their parenting journey.
Respect their space. Attune to their needs. Lend help when appropriate. Mitigate extra burdens. Support mental health. And baby and family will appreciate your friendship now more than ever!
FAQ – 10 Crucial Rules for Visiting a Newborn
How long should I wait before visiting a newborn baby?
It’s best to wait until the parents explicitly invite you over to visit. Usually this will be at least a few weeks after the baby is born, as the parents need privacy for bonding time and to establish breastfeeding routines. Unless they proactively ask you to visit earlier, assume the parents will contact you when they feel ready for visitors.
What if the parents only allow a short first visit with the newborn?
It’s very common and understandable for tired, recovering new parents to limit first visits with their fragile newborn to less than 10-15 minutes. Don’t take offense if they want your visit to be short – instead promise to come back another day when they’ve gotten more rest. Be respectful of their needs during this delicate period.
Can I post pictures of the newborn on social media?
Do not share photos or details about the newborn online unless you have the parents’ explicit permission. Many parents have safety and privacy concerns about images of their baby circulating, so you should discuss and obtain their consent before taking or distributing any pictures. Respect the family’s preferences.
What are some useful things I can do to help new parents out?
Offer specific helpful gestures like dropping off meals they can easily reheat, helping out around the house with chores, running errands for them, gifting certificates for food delivery when they’re too exhausted to cook, etc. Ask what would be useful instead of assuming. Sometimes just providing reassurance and a listening ear is most helpful at this busy time.
How can I interact gently with a newborn during visits?
Keep voices soft and movements slow and gentle when around a newborn. Support their head and neck if cradling them. Follow parents’ guidance about specific calming techniques for their baby. Avoid overstimulation from loud noises, device screens, or celebrating siblings. Be soothing and let the baby lead when interacting.
